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Sarah Moloney bio continued: (return to previous page)

 

I felt the impact my contributions had on the villages I worked in and was constantly rewarded for my efforts. The village children would scream my name from afar, heckle all the troops to see me on a regular basis. They would ask for me when I had been long gone.  It wasn’t just the medical aid, although that was astronomical to them all; women and children, men and elders…sheep.  Yes I had a baby sheep laid into my arms as well!

 

My time in the military leading up to my desert life was nothing in comparison to how I felt once there.  How important I finally felt and knew even since back in basic training when I was merely a number; that one day there would be a reason for everything I had enrolled for.  By the time I had left the hot desert sands all you could see from village to village were dirty sand stricken children all wearing knitted toques, carrying handmade or store bought toys, books, pencils, personal care items, backpacks and countless other amenities.  However, most important~  They carried the smiles on their faces from ear to ear.

And I carried the respect from each of them, and more importantly from every elder that cared for them.  A token which helped keep us alive on days when we might not have otherwise.  I truly believe that had to have been my time.  I was lucky to make it home, as so many didn’t, including 5 from our Company. I lost a near and dear girlfriend of mine and fellow Medic, shortly after my return.  I stood honour guard far too many times, and buried those close to my heart.  It’s a hard life to live.

To add, without my presence there, my knowledge of and the companionship I had created with my FTP (fire team partner) from that place, the life I have today would cease to exist.

He was the quiet soldier, always 6 feet behind me on patrols with his light machine gun, the troop I smiled at daily and chatted on and off with during our 6hr road patrol duty, but most of all he had become my closest friend in the vast and lonely sea of sand.  Our personal lives traveled in different directions at the time and although he hates me reminding him, he was a chubby kid at the time; 3 years younger than me and lived provinces away.  Why would I have ever thought about a future? Right?  (insert smiles)  Fate.

That’s all that can be said.  Fate.  Out of the blue I texted him later the year we all returned home.  It was Boxing day.  The rest of our lives all began with a friendly “is this the woman of my dreams” text in return to my friendly ‘Merry Christmas old friend’…  What were the odds? He was in Peterborough, just 3hrs from where I had been based for 8yrs.  Within 2 days we were having lunch and a beer at a small pub in the small town of Bancroft, On.  And have been inseparable ever since.

 

I served from 2002- until just recently Feb 2013.  Nearly 11yrs I served my country well, through the good and the bad times.  Through my first marriage, raising my kids, leaving them, losing a lot of friends, and gaining myself again.  I worked hard and played even harder as we like to say.

Sarah with family…always family first!

But always.  Always my kids came first.  I never made it to general, as my Grandparents would always joke about when I saw them over the years…”have they made you general yet?” it always made me laugh.  I was just as important as a general to two little souls and that’s all that truly mattered.

 

So why did I release?  Honourable career, making $60+K a yr, full benefits, full schooling paid for, full pension after 20yrs.  Trust me, my parents are still riding me about my decision.  Well, 11 yrs served daily in the Canadian Military is like 30yrs at any other type of job.  It wasn’t a job, not for me.  It was my life.  I was a Medic, a damn good one.  I was a Soldier, and a damn good one too.

My body started to talk more and not with encouraging sweet nothings in my ear, more like aches, pains and surgery after surgery.  No one ever said soldiering was easy, and I liked to push the odds.  All of my ‘it’ll go aways’… never went away needless to say.  I couldn’t handle not soldiering anymore.  It played constant tricks on my mind,my mood and ultimately my family demeanor.  Until one day a little voice said to me, “Mommy, could you not be in the army anymore?“  Those two reasons were more then enough.  My time had come once again, but now it was to leave.

 

So then what?  It took me the better part of the year, while awaiting my medicals and release message to be generated.  At this point, we had found the wonderful news of our upcoming birth and we were due in February 2013.  Our newest bundle would ultimately become our blessed rainbow baby and complete our family as a whole.

If my husband could speak up right now he would laugh about all the wild ideas that circled my brain on a daily basis. All the late nights of my jabbering on and on about my newest finds, were always met with approval and positive reinforcement.  Although I’m sure at late hours of the night it was to appease me and send me off to bed!

I knew the medical aspect was in my heart and veins, I couldn’t just drop the aiding aspect altogether.  However I knew I wanted a business aspect as well.  I knew after my last 11yrs, working for the largest organization in the world I could not go back to working at the bottom at 30yrs old, shift working and leaving my babes once again.

I couldn’t do it.  Not again.

 

So, I traded in my med bag, C7 rifle and 9mm side arm for a birthing ball and holistic approach on life.  My own birth had opened up a whole new world and passion

for me, and I sought out the training to be a Doula.  I embarked on a new journey in Nov 2012 and have never felt so alive.  I mean, it’s birth.  It’s life!

 

I went from a male dominant, angry soldier minded (disregard medical notions that say we are not, because we all are) high tempo lifestyle, to a women enhanced, power invoking circle of strength, love, and passion.  A lifestyle I never envisioned and a sense of myself I never thought I would be better to live in.  I aim to chase peace, as my husband says.  Sometimes I find it and other times I struggle.  I am a type A personality, revolving around an assertive direction in life most hours of the day.  But who can live like that forever?  It served me very well throughout my childhood, the military, and when I needed to be more independent for my children.  Now at this stage of my life and with my new career path it doesn’t serve.  Change is a continuous battle.  For my biography is who I am, who I have become, and who I will be.  This was without a doubt the hardest thing for me to do, and yet the easiest decision at the same time.  The army was my life, I miss it every day,that’s no lie.  However, it’s time for a new chapter.

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